Little Girl, Big Magic formerly Saving Sarah
by TheDoctorAndSarah
Summary: Sarah Jane Smith was raised by her aunt because her parents were killed in a terrible car crash when she was small. What if she'd been in the car? 10/Sarah Jane, AU **Now COMPLETE** fixed timing 11/26
1. Chapter 1

**URGENT NOTE:** As you may know, the BBC starts shooting the 50th anniversary special this week. If you'd like to see a proper tribute to Sarah Jane in the special, please consider signing the petition at www dot ipetitions dot com / petition/sarah-jane-smith-dr-who-tribute (automatic link removed because we don't want to break any rules) and passing it on to any groups you belong to. If we all pass it on, we can make a difference! Time (ironically) is of the essence! Thanks!

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This story is set between Waters of Mars and The End of Time. It's also AU, and in a separate continuity from "Unfinished Business," ignoring the SJA version of what happened to Sarah Jane's parents.

We don't own Doctor Who, and so on. Thanks!

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**England, 1956**

"Mummy, how long will it take to get to Auntie's house?" asked the very petite five year old girl.

"About two and a half hours, dear." Her mother smiled at her and stroked her head. She loved that little face so much. "Now let me look at you before we go out to the car. We have to make sure you are presentable enough to have tea at your Aunt Lavinia's."

Sarah Jane stood still as she smiled up at her mother.

She was small for a five year old, standing just thirty six and a half inches tall. She had two ponytails with red velvet ribbons in them, and slightly mussed bangs. The child looked like a beautiful doll that had just been taken out of her box. She was wearing a bibbed bright red skirt with a white blouse with short puffy sleeves. The blouse had red velvet trim and red velvet buttons that matched her skirt, and she had on black patent leather shoes and white socks with red lace trim on them.

Her mother picked up her brush and gently straightened her bangs. She knew they would be mussed up again as soon as Sarah Jane ran out to play or shook her head. She just felt better doing it. "Play quietly dear for a few moments while Daddy gets the auto ready, and please try to stay close and keep clean."

Sarah Jane nodded her head and her bangs went flying as she ran off to play in the back garden of their little Foxgrove home.

Her mother shook her head and laughed. She knew a lost cause when she saw one.

"Almost ready, Eddie?" she called out to her husband from her bedroom window.

"Just finished up this second Barbara. You ready?" The man closed the trunk of their car and smiled at it with satisfaction.

"Be right down. Go and get Sarah Jane from the garden and get her into the car please." Barbara Smith took one last look at herself in the mirror before she went to join them. She ran her brush through her hair one last time and headed downstairs.

Her husband had just settled their daughter into the back seat when suddenly Sarah Jane looked about and panicked. "I forgot Elizabeth," she exclaimed, looking as if she were about to cry.

"Don't panic darling," said her mother. "Daddy will run back into the house and get her for you, won't you daddy," she said, turning to her husband as she opened the passenger side door and got into the car.

"Where did you leave Elizabeth my little princess," he smiled lovingly at her.

"She's upstairs in my room by the window seat," said Sarah Jane, looking up at her father with an expression that clearly let him know that he was her hero and she adored him.

Three minutes later, her father came out the back door, locked it again and headed back to the car. He opened the back door and handed a small stuffed owl to Sarah Jane who in turn, took it quickly from him and hugged it tightly to her. "Thank you daddy, you're wonderful."

"Your welcome your highness, glad to be of service to such a distinguished lady," he bowed to her with a smile and jumped into the car. He put the key into the ignition and smiled at his wife and daughter. "Now then, everyone ready to go?"

Two loving faces smiled back at him and nodded their heads.

"Ready when you are Eddie," said his wife.

"Marvelous," he answered her. "How about some music then? Shall I see what's on the radio?"

"Sounds lovely," said Barbara.

Sarah Jane was looking out the back window excitedly with Elizabeth still clutched to her chest.

The car pulled out of the drive and onto the road. The radio was playing "My September Love" by David Whitfield, and Barbara and Eddie started singing along with it. In a short while, Sarah Jane was sound asleep in the backseat.

* * *

The Doctor sauntered around the TARDIS console, trying to decide where to go next. "You'd Be So Nice To Come Home To" echoed through the halls, making him feel more lonely than usual. Whom did he have to come home to, exactly? As if in answer, the time rotor started moving up and down. "Oi," he said to the TARDIS, "what are you doing?"

The TARDIS didn't answer him, of course, but he still got the gist of her answer: there was something he needed to take care of.

The TARDIS landed with a jolt, almost a thud, really, and he looked at the readouts. "Kings Wood, 1956. Hmm." He couldn't think of anything interesting that would have happened then and there, except ... He grabbed his coat and exploded out of the TARDIS, looking around for any sign of what must be coming. A herd of cows chewed lazily in the field behind the road beside which the TARDIS had landed, and an old tractor sat at the side of the road up ahead at the curve, as if abandoned in favor of more pleasant tasks. Across the street, wheat swayed in the gathering wind.

It was quiet. Only the rustling of the wheat and tree leaves punctuated the overcast day.

Then, far away, thunder.

A moment later a raindrop spattered on the TARDIS's roof, then another, then on the road, and in just seconds it was as if the sky had opened up, and he had to retreat to the doorway of the TARDIS or be drenched. But that wouldn't matter in a moment.

Finally he saw it. The Morris Oxford MO wasn't speeding down the road, exactly, but when lightning struck the tree overhanging the fence in the cow pasture, the road was slick, and the car had barely slowed at all when it plowed into the tractor. By the time the Doctor had sprinted to the scene, the car was already in flames.

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To be continued ...


	2. Chapter 2

Sarah Jane was awakened by the screech of tires and a loud noise. She sat up, confused and not quite awake. She looked over to where her parents were in the front seat. There was smoke choking her lungs now and the fire scared her. Her left arm hurt, her legs ached and her face was cut and bleeding. "Mummy, Daddy, I've got boo boos," she cried. When they didn't answer, she began to panic. Then she realized her stuffed owl was also missing. She started to look around for it, crying and coughing as she did. "Mummy, Daddy, why don't you wake up," she called to them. "I can't find Elizabeth and it hurts to breathe, wake up," she said as she shook her mother. Barbara Smith didn't move. Luckily Sarah Jane was in the back seat and couldn't see the trickle of blood that was coming out of her mother's mouth or the huge gash on her father's head. To her it looked as if he was just leaning his head across the steering wheel. "Wake up, I hurt and the car's on fire," she screamed at them in terror when she saw the flames start to rise.

The Doctor skidded on the wet road as he pulled up next to the car but kept his feet, albeit just barely. The adults in the front seat had been killed instantly. He knew that, but he'd make sure in a moment. More important things to do right now. The back door handle was obscured by flames coming from the spreading puddle of fuel under the car, but he could see the little girl in the back seat, trying to wake her parents. He took a breath and reached for the door handle, ignoring the pain as he tried to open the door, but it didn't budge. "Blast!"

There was no time for finesse. A twist of the settings on the sonic screwdriver, and the 1948 non-safety glass of the back window shattered instantly. "Come on," he said, holding his hand out to the little girl and trying not to let his coat catch fire.

She looked at him and hesitated. "I don't know you," she cried.

"I know, but I promise you I won't hurt you. I'm just going to take you out of the fire," he said, with as much calm as he could manage.

"I can't wake Mummy and Daddy up and I can't find my Elizabeth," she wailed at him.

"Mummy and Daddy want me to help you out of the fire," he insisted. "Please, come now." When she hesitated, he jumped onto the boot and, shattering the back window with the sonic screwdriver, he climbed into the back seat with her, looking around for the stuffed owl. "Here she is," he said, holding her up. "Ready?"

Sarah Jane nodded and reached out for his arms with her left arm. "I can't, my arm won't move and my legs hurt," she started to cry louder.

The Doctor's hearts hurt for a moment and as he coughed in the smoke, he quickly checked the pulses of the adults in the front seat, then, having satisfied himself that they were truly gone, gently picked her up in his arms. "It's all right," he said soothingly, and climbed out the back window, trying to land as gently as possible when he jumped off the boot and sprinted away from the car. He managed to plant the two of them behind the TARDIS just as it shook with the explosion.

Sarah Jane heard the sound and shook in terror. "Mummy, Daddy," she cried out and started squirming in the Doctor's arms.

"Don't, don't," the Doctor said, "you'll hurt yourself." His heart was breaking for her. She didn't even know how empty her world had just become. But he did. Keeping his back to the crash, he opened the TARDIS doors and took her inside. It was suddenly quiet.

Sarah Jane stopped crying, distracted immediately by the inside of the TARDIS. She sniffled a bit and looked around in awe. "Ohhh, magic," she whispered.

"That's right," the Doctor said, relieved. "Magic."

She tried to reach out and touch the TARDIS wall and suddenly winced. The temporarily forgotten pain returned. Sarah Jane didn't cry out, but it was clear she was in a lot of pain. Her once pretty velvet skirt and chiffon blouse were now covered in soot. Her face was sooty and tear streaked and there was a small cut on her forehead. She had a bruise on her cheek that was starting to swell up. "I hurt," she said, much too stoically for a five year old child.

"I know," he said. "Come on, let's fix you." He carried her down the hall to the infirmary and set her gently on the table after laying a blanket on it to make it softer. "Now you just lie still for a moment."

"Is it going to hurt?" she asked, looking at him with trust.

"Not one bit," he smiled at her, and started pushing buttons on the console to find out just how badly she was hurt. Aside from the broken arm -- the upper arm, of course! -- she was mostly bruised, he was relieved to find. Fortunately it was just a hairline fracture, and he picked up the osteoknitter and ran it over the area to heal it before it got worse. Finally, he rummaged around and found an aerosolized painkiller. Setting it for a minuscule dose, he held it in front of her face. "Sniff," he said.

Sarah Jane looked at him for a second. She wondered if it would smell bad. Then she decided just to do as he told her, and leaned forward and sniffed. She looked up at him with surprised delight. "It smells like cherries," she exclaimed.

And that, he thought to himself, is the miracle of adaptive odorology. "Do you like cherries?" he asked, sitting down beside her.

She nodded her head and smiled at him for the first time since she saw him. "I like chocolate covered cherries." She moved her left arm and smiled again. "You fixed it! You're magic too!"

"Just a little," he said. "Now sit up." He mentally rummaged through the cupboards of the kitchen, trying to think whether he had any chocolate covered cherries. Then he realized exactly where he did. "Tell you what, you come over here and we'll get you washed up, and then I'll give you some chocolate covered cherries. How does that sound?"

"That sounds good," she said, smiling even wider. Then she caught him totally off guard. She slipped her sooty little hand into his and looked straight into his eyes. "Are you going to fix my Mummy and Daddy with magic too?"

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To be continued ...


	3. Chapter 3

The Doctor looked down at her tiny hand in his and felt the warmth of it as he closed his hand around hers. He looked into her innocent trusting face and swallowed hard. He could feel the thread that tied his soul to hers, and he understood at that moment that she owned his hearts. They had always been hers. No one else ever could, ever would make him feel the way she did.

He thought about what he had to tell her, and his hearts shattered like the back windscreen of her parents' car. He picked her up and set her on his lap, wrapping an arm around her and holding her hand with his other hand. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Your Mummy and Daddy can't be fixed, even with magic."

Her lower lip quivered as she looked into his eyes. "Why?" she asked softly.

He felt himself tearing up with her. Oh, how he felt for her. But she needed for him to be strong now. "Your Mummy and Daddy were hurt very badly when the car crashed."

She put her head down now, trying to accept what she had been told. "Too bad to fix?"

"Too bad to fix," he repeated. "I'm so sorry."

Sarah Jane nodded slowly to signify that she understood. She sat silently, just holding his hand, then buried her head in his shoulder. She had no idea how many times in the future she would turn to him that same way when she felt sorrow. All she knew right now was that she hurt and she needed comfort. More than that, her little five year old mind just couldn't handle.

He just held her until she stopped crying. Of all the times he'd been powerless to stop something, this was perhaps one of the worst for him. But he knew that in the end she'd be all right. He gave her a squeeze. "Let's get you cleaned up."

She looked up at him again and shook her head no at him.

"No? Why not?"

She pointed to his injured hand. "You have to use the magic to fix yourself first," she said emphatically.

The Doctor had forgotten about the burns on his hand from trying to open the door. He looked at the angry blisters that had come up while they'd been sitting. "You're right," he said. Setting her on her feet, he rummaged again and found burn cream. He slathered it on, and in a few moments the blisters were gone. He held up his healed hand for her to see. "There. Satisfied now?"

She nodded approvingly. "That's good magic," she declared.

"Yes, it is. Now let's get you cleaned up." He held out a hand to lead her to the sink.

She took his hand and followed him. She waited quietly to see what would happen next.

He picked up a bottle with blue liquid in it and turned to her. He looked at her closely and then at himself. "This won't do," he said as he put the blue bottle back on the shelf. "I have a better idea. We need to get you and me completely clean. Our clothes are a mess too." He picked her up and headed towards the sonic shower.

Sarah Jane looked down at her new outfit, streaked with black soot. She picked up the hem of her skirt. "Mommy said I should stay clean and not get into trouble." She looked at him sadly.

"Well, the staying clean part we can do," he said, setting her down next to him and pressing a button on the wall. A quiet buzzing noise started and he felt the familiar tingle of the sonic shower. He looked down to see how she was taking it, noticing the soot starting to disappear from her dress and face.

Sarah Jane was watching the dirt and soot disappear from her stuffed owl. "It's cleaning Elizabeth," she said, looking up at him with an astonished smile.

"That's right. This magic makes all the dirt go away." She was so young and so tiny, and yet, she was already taking in everything around her. Even at this age, she was amazing.

"How do you do the magic?" she asked him, her face filled with curiosity.

He bent over almost double, until his face was even with hers. "If I told you, then it wouldn't be magic." He smiled and stood, then held out a hand. He didn't want to say, it, but he knew he had to. "Time to go."

She looked hard at him now. "Go? Where? I want to stay here with you."

He bit his lip and swallowed hard. "You can't. But I'll make you a deal."

She looked a bit warily at him. "A deal? Grownups never make good deals." She eyed him and made what her mother would call her 'thinking' face. "You look grownup, but I don't think you are."

He smiled a broad smile. "Then you'll consider my proposal?"

"Proposal? Are you asking me to marry you? Mommy's friend got a proposal and she got married." Sarah Jane looked pleased at the thought. "I accept," she said quickly, thinking she had solved her problem. "That means I get to live here."

The Doctor blanched. "Um ... that's not what I mean. A proposal can also be a suggestion of something for you to consider. But you're ... er... not far off. You can't stay here now because you're too little. But I propose that you go and live with your Auntie Lavinia until you're a big girl, and then you can come back and live here."

"Then are you going to marry me?" she asked with determination. The idea was in her head now, and she didn't want to let it go.

The Doctor knew that he was going to make her forget this anyway. Why not let her enjoy? "Yes," he said, before he even realized it. "But you have to be good and live with your Auntie until you're old enough."

"How old will that be?" She was smiling now. She liked the idea of living in the TARDIS.

He thought back. "Twenty-three."

"How many after five is that?" She flirted with him with her eyes.

He smiled in spite of himself. "Eighteen."

She tried to fathom eighteen years. She still wasn't sure this was such a good deal. Eighteen years was the same as forever for her. She looked at him keenly, her little brain turning it all over. "Will you promise to come back and visit me every year on my birthday?" She was indeed as her father used to call her, 'a sharp little cookie'.

He thought about that for a moment. He actually considered it for half a moment, then realized it simply wasn't possible. "I'll tell you what. I can't come back and visit you on your birthday, but I will give you some magic to take home with you. How's that?"

"A magic present?" Suddenly she was distracted. "What kind of magic present?"


	4. Chapter 4

"It's a magic flower," he said conspiratorially. "It will stay alive permanently, even after you grow up and come back here."

"Ooh, I love flowers," her eyes were big and smiling now with anticipation. "What color is it?"

"You pick," he said, holding out his hand. "Come on, we'll go to the garden."

She took his hand and walked along with him. Her little legs had a hard time keeping up with his long striding ones. She let go of his hand and stood, glaring at him impatiently with her arms crossed. He kept walking. "Humph humph," she said loudly, waiting for him to notice her.

He turned and looked at her, trying not to laugh. "Yes?"

"You walk too fast." She shook her finger at him, then ran up to him. She placed her hands on her hips, tapping her foot. "I'm way smaller than you, you know."

"Yes, you are," he said, smiling. He held out his arms for her to be carried.

She reached her arms up to him as he picked her up. She looked into his eyes again, then put her hand on his cheek. "I know who you are now," she said, looking at him with a satisfied smile.

He raised an eyebrow. "Oh you do, do you?"

She shook her head up and down affirmatively. "Yes, I didn't recognize you right away because you're dressed different. You're the handsome prince that's supposed to come and marry me. My Mommy told me about you."

"Ooh," he said, nodding knowingly, amused at this obsession of hers with marrying him. "I didn't know she told you about me." He opened the door to the garden and stepped into it with her. Later, she would love the garden, and why not? It opened out to a great expanse, the way the console room opened out from the police box, making it seem even more spacious than it was. The most wondrous plants grew all around, and he set her down so she could look. "Look, but don't touch," he said.

"Oh, it's ever so much bigger than our garden at home," she said. She began to run all around with a look of sheer delight on her face. She stopped after a while and started looking at all the different flowers. She did this for a long time, turning to him and asking him the name of this one and then that one. Occasionally she'd bend down and sniff a flower if it caught her eye. As she bent down to examine a particularly fragrant bloom, she caught something's eye instead. Not aware of it at first, she sensed something, and then as she saw it. She started screaming as if the devil himself was standing before her, and ran towards the Doctor.

He was there instantly. "What's wrong?" he asked, kneeling down beside her.

She grabbed his hand and started tugging on it. "Run away quick, there's a giant bug eyed monster over there!" She pointed over at the direction she had just been in. He was pretty sure there weren't any bug-eyed monsters in the TARDIS -- well, no giant ones, at least. "Hang about, let's see it." He looked more closely at where she was pointing, and a tiny eye-stalk popped up behind a lush red bloom. "Norman," he scolded, "behave yourself." A small mass of blue and green tentacles scurried off. He turned back to Sarah Jane with a big reassuring smile for her. "Don't worry, he won't bother you."

Sarah Jane watched him as he headed out of the garden. "Do you know him? Is he magic too?"

The Doctor chuckled at her characterization of the tiny alien. "I suppose you could say that."

Sarah Jane went back to looking over the flowers. Finally after about an hour, she stopped cold in her tracks. "Oh my, this one is the most beautiful one of all! What's it called, please?" she asked as she bent over to smell it.

He smiled. Some things never changed. These had always been her favorite flowers, by far. "That is a Metebelis Angel," he said, kneeling down next to her. "And it blooms as long as the person who planted it is alive."

"Did you plant it?" she asked, still smelling the heavenly odor it gave off.

"I did," he said.

"Then I never want to pick it," she said standing up solemnly.

"Ah, but that's what's magical about it," he said. "Even after you pick it, the bloom will stay fresh as long as I'm alive. So you'll always know that I'm out here waiting for you."

She smiled happily at him. He was used to that smile; it was the exact same smile of sheer joy that she had given him in the past whenever something unexpected and marvelous would happen to them. She ran to him and threw her arms about him. "You're wonderful."

He held her and buried his face in her shoulder just as she buried her face in his. She was so happy, even in the face of what had just happened to her. She'd lost nearly everyone in her life in one fell swoop, but she could still appreciate beauty and wonder. He was grateful for the reminder, and he wanted to see her happy again. Feeling tears welling up for him, he held her for another minute, waiting for it to subside. Finally, he took a deep breath and set her down.

"I'm hungry," she stated simply, as only a child could.

"That's right, I promised you some chocolate covered cherries," he said, keeping his voice even. "And you should probably have some lunch."

This time she didn't wait, and held her arms up to him. She put her head next to his as he picked her up. She rubbed his cheek with her hand slowly. "You're very lonely and sad, and I don't ever want to leave you."


	5. Chapter 5

His breath caught in his throat. She was so right, and yet, tempting as it was... "But I know that you'll come back, so that's all right."

"No, I need to stay here now," she insisted, still stroking his cheek. "This is my new happy place. My old happy place won't be happy any more," she looked at him wistfully.

He kept his breath even, but with difficulty. "But what about your Auntie Lavinia? I mean, she's just lost her brother, just as you lost your Daddy and Mummy. She's going to need you very much. I know you wouldn't abandon her just when she needs you the most."

"This is a magic place, I can be happy here. If I go outside, I'll be sad." She grew thoughtful, and then brightened as an idea struck her. "Maybe we can go and get Auntie Lavinia and she can live here with us. Will that be alright?"

He sat down heavily on the small wall surrounding one of the flower beds. "I know you don't want to be sad, Sarah Jane," he said. "But sometimes we have to be sad so that we can get through it when bad things happen."

"Don't you like little girls?" she said, turning her head slightly, trying to look adorable to him.

"Yes, I do, and I like you very much, but you're changing the subject. You know, sadness can even come in here sometimes. You said yourself that I looked sad."

"That's because you're all alone. If Auntie Lavinia came here to live with us, you wouldn't be lonely and neither would she. You've got such a very big lovely house and people should share what they have with others. Daddy and Mummy told me so and they never lie."

"That's right, but there's one very important thing that you don't know. If you stay with me now, you will have to leave soon. But if you stay with Auntie Lavinia until you're old enough, then you can stay with me a long, long time."

Sarah Jane could see that she was going to lose this battle and she decided that it was time to give up. She sighed with acceptance. "Promise," she asked him with a hopeful expression.

He couldn't help but smile at her. He realized that while this may have been the first time she had done this to him, he knew it would happen again and again in their future. She may only be five now, but she was definitely his Sarah Jane. "I promise," he said. "Pinky swear." He held his little finger out to her.

She smiled and wrapped her pinky around his. "Pinky swear," she said shaking her finger with his. She grew thoughtful for a moment. "Hey, where's my ring," she said. "If we're going to get married, you have to give me a ring. It's part of the rules."

"The rules say you get a ring when you get married. We'll talk about getting married when you come back. So that's when you get the ring," he said.

"Uh-uh," she said smiling confidently, as if she had trapped him. "Mummy's friend got a ring when she said yes to the man she was going to marry." She frowned, "I don't know what it's called, but you're supposed to get one with a pretty stone in it."

He loved her smile. It just had a way of warming his soul all the way from his toes to his spiked hair. "If I get you a ring now, when your finger grows you'll have to take it off and you won't ever be able to wear it again. If you wait until you grow up you can wear it forever."

She pouted. "Oh, you have an answer for everything. That's not fair."

"Magic," he smiled. "Now how about those chocolate covered cherries?"

"Alright," she sighed again. "I suppose I'll have to settle for that, but now I'm not so sure you're tensions are honorable."

He had to laugh, not just at her statement but her word choice. "I assure you, my tensions are nothing but honorable. One day you'll understand that." He picked her up and set her on his shoulders, thinking he was glad the TARDIS ceilings were so high. On a whim, he started to zoom like an airplane towards the galley.

Sarah giggled with delight all the way into the galley. She was even screaming a bit by the time they got there. "Do that again please," she said enthusiastically when they stopped.

"After we eat," he said, sitting her down in one of the chairs that surrounded the table. "First lunch, then candy." He started rummaging in the kitchen, but he'd been alone for some time now, and the cupboards were just about bare, with him subsisting on meal bars the TARDIS produced supplemented by the local cuisine of wherever he happened to be. For a moment he wondered how much time he could spend here with her before the police started a manhunt, but then he thought, 'What's the point of having a time machine if you don't use it?' He sat down opposite her and looked into her eyes. "How would you like to go someplace magical for lunch?"

Her eyes grew huge and she flashed him an amazed expression. "Oh yes, please may we do that, please, please, please?" She started bouncing up and down in her seat with anticipation.

Her excitement was contagious. He loved seeing new things, but to see even old things through the eyes of a child -- and especially this child -- was more than a thrill. He picked her up and put her back on his shoulders. "Yes, we may. But first, we have to get there. And that, as they say, is half the fun." He resumed his airplane impression and flew her into the console room.

Sarah chortled with glee as she daringly threw her hands out too. Halfway down the hall, she threw her head back and ended up head down on his back. "Oh no," she cried out with joy. She held her skirt down with both hands and giggled. "Yay, I'm upside down," she giggled even harder. "Everything looks funny this way!"

He laughed with her, and as he passed the console, he bent over quickly so that the momentum would right her, then let go and caught her as she flew forward. He sat her on his hip. "Now **that's** a landing," he laughed.

"Yes, it's a wonderful landing," she said, catching her breath. She looked at him with excitement, her eyes twinkling. "Now what happens?"

"Now," he said, "you get to drive."


	6. Chapter 6

Her little eyebrows shot up in amazement. "Do I really?" She looked intently at the console with all it's buttons, levers, knobs and switches. To her it was like a giant busy box. She turned to him with daring in her eyes. "What do I do first?"

Oh, that look. It was the same look she'd get right before they were about to, say, leap off a cliff. Fortunately, this was not quite that daring -- at least not for him. He leaned over so that she could reach the console without falling over on it completely. "First you twist that knob over there verrrry slowly, until I say 'stop'."

Sarah Jane leaned over as he held her and slowly twisted the knob. She concentrated very hard, biting her bottom lip and holding her breath until he told her to stop.

"Perfect," he said, then pointed to the knob next to it. "Now this one." He watched her set all four dials, then swung her around to the other side of the console. "Now push that big red button."

Her tongue licked her lip as she pushed the button and heard a sound coming from the TARDIS as she did. She gasped in astonishment and looked at him for reassurance.

"It's all right," he said, smiling, and pointed at the time rotor, now moving up and down and rotating. "Perfect." He move around to a third spot, and moved her from his right hip to his left. "Now you see that lever over there? Pull that verrry slowly towards you until I say 'stop'." He reached down and picked up a large sledgehammer and got ready to swing it.

Sarah didn't see the sledgehammer. She was too busy pulling down the lever as slowly as she could. When he told her to stop and then slammed the hammer down, she jumped in horror. "You hurt her, why did you do that," she said, recovering from her shock.

"No, no, no," he said, dropping the hammer and using that hand to steady her. "It's all right, it's all right." He realized that he'd never told her that the TARDIS was a living being, but he wasn't surprised that she sensed that. "That doesn't hurt her. She's ..." He tried to find a way to explain it without actually saying, 'She's really old.' He sighed. "She's got a couple of parts that don't work right anymore. She can't feel that button unless I hit it very hard, and I can't ... I can't get a replacement. It doesn't hurt her, I promise." He touched her cheek. "I would never hurt her if I could help it," he said.

Sarah nodded with relief. "I'm glad because she is very special and she loves you so much." Sarah patted the TARDIS console gently and nodded again and then smiled at the Doctor. "It's alright, she says it didn't hurt. She said I shouldn't worry about her, she's fine."

The Doctor wondered when the TARDIS had started talking to Sarah, but didn't say anything about it. "Good, glad to hear it." He walked around to a view screen and took a look. "See that? That's where we're going."

Sarah looked curiously at the screen, and what she saw fascinated her. She looked over her shoulder at him smiling and then looked back at the screen once more. "It's beautiful. What's it called, please?"

He shifted her so she could see better. "It's the Market of Secaro. You can get anything there, including the greatest food in the universe. And it's all barter, which is the best part." He wiggled his eyebrows at her.

"What does barter mean?" she asked, still staring at the screen. "And what are all those little moving dots and things?"

"Those little dots are vehicles moving around the market. The market's pretty big you see. And barter means that instead of using money, you get to trade for things." The TARDIS landed with a small thud. "So I've got to load up my pockets. Come on." He tucked her under his arm like an American football and headed for a storeroom.

Sarah Jane didn't seem to mind being carried this way at all. For a while, she was content to just look around, but that didn't last long. Suddenly, she got a mischievous look on her face. She slowly pulled her arms in close and then started tickling the Doctor's side. "Got you," she laughed.

The Doctor jumped and started laughing, not because she'd gotten a particularly ticklish spot (she hadn't) but just at the silliness of the whole thing. He twisted his hand and tickled her side as he carried her. "Got you back," he said.

Sarah wriggled, laughed and kept tickling him. This went on until they arrived at the storeroom. "Give up, you've been defeated," she laughed.

"All right," he said, still laughing. "I give up." He closed a trunk-like box and sat her down on it. "Now. I need to stock up. You wait right here while I do that, OK?" He grimaced, realizing what he was about to say. "Don't wander off."

Sarah nodded and sat there waiting for the Doctor to return.

The doctor rummaged around in the storeroom, grabbing this and that and the other thing that he thought might be desirable in the marketplace, and dropping them into his pockets. When he felt that he had enough, he turned back to Sarah and his stomach dropped; she was gone. "Sarah!" he called, a bit nervous. True to form, she'd wandered off -- he hoped. And if she'd wandered off in the TARDIS, it could take hours, even days, to find her.

Suddenly he heard her laughing happily and running down one of the halls. From the sound of it, she couldn't be too far away.

He chased after the sound, and finally caught up to her as she chased after a blue-green bouncing ball. "Norman, I said behave yourself," he laughed with relief, and grabbed Sarah by the waist, tossing her gently over his shoulder and carrying her back to the console room.

Sarah Jane was still giggling. "Can I play with the blue ball some more please? It's funny!"

"No, you can't," the Doctor said, sitting her down on the jump seat.

Sarah looked miffed as Norman bounced a few more times, then dissolved into a mass of tentacles and ran away from her. "Well then, even if he is magic, I'm never going to kiss him. He can stay enchanted now because he ran away, that's just rude." She nodded her head and crossed her arms.

He couldn't help chuckling at her. "Fair enough."

Sarah Jane grew thoughtful. She looked down at herself and frowned. "I wish I had some play clothes. This is very pretty," she tugged at her skirt hem. "But it's not very comfortable, and it's very hard to keep clean," she sighed.

He looked down at her. "Hm. You're right. Can't have fun if we can't be comfortable. Off to the boot cupboard." He held out a hand and swung her back onto his shoulders. "Alons-y!" She'd always loved the boot cupboard, he thought; it was one of her favorite places. The thought of seeing her reaction to it now tickled him. He swung her back down and set her down at the doorway. "All right, Sarah Jane, welcome to the playroom." He swung open the door.


	7. Chapter 7

Sarah Jane was obviously astonished when she looked into the room. "Oh my, this is the best dress up playroom in the world!" She ran from one thing to another, then looked over at him when she saw a blue velvet jacket with a ruffled shirt hanging up with it. "May I touch it please if I'm very careful?"

He smiled at the irony of her fixating on the same suit he'd been wearing the day they met, or rather, would meet. "Yes, if you're careful, you may touch anything in here."

She ran up to him, threw her arms about him, and gave him a huge smile. Then she ran off to explore. She reverently stroked the blue jacket and rubbed the material against her face with a dreamy expression. When she turned and looked about and saw a huge pink and black feather boa, again, she ran her fingers gently over it and brushed it against her cheek. "This is so beautiful," she sighed blissfully.

"Yes, it is." He just watched her for a while, running around as she had in the garden. Occasionally she'd pass an outfit she'd worn in the past -- or rather, would wear in the future -- and he found himself wishing he could just keep her here with him. He shook his head; of course that was impossible. Finally, he got up and started looking for something she could wear. He didn't have much for someone her size, but ... an idea struck him and he went rummaging. Finally, in a trunk way in the back, he found it. A shirt and overalls, it certainly wasn't meant for a little girl, but for one of the tiny humanoids of Yelk IV, it would fit someone of her stature if he rolled the cuffs up a little. Another rummage and he found a pair of expandable shoes, meant to shrink down to be carried in your pocket and then to expand when you put them on your feet. They wouldn't have to expand far for Sarah Jane, but at least she wouldn't ruin her patent leather shoes in the inevitable mud of Secaro. "All right, you," he called. "I found some play clothes for you."

Sarah looked at what he was holding up to her and then glanced back longingly at a sequined gold evening gown that she could have drowned in were she to try it on. She sighed and walked over to the Doctor. "I don't suppose you have any ruby slippers that would fit me." She looked up hopefully at him.

"Ruby slippers are hardly play clothes," he said, wishing he did have a pair for her.

Sarah shrugged. "Well they're not for outside play, just indoors." She looked at the shirt and overalls. "These were meant to be played in," she said smiling. "I don't think the shoes will fit me though."

He leaned over and handed them to her. "Magic," he said.

Sarah seemed satisfied with that explanation. "Where can I go to put these on?"

"You can go right behind there," he said, pointing to a large screen. "Make sure you lay out your dress neatly so you can wear it later."

"Yes, um," at that moment, she realized something important. "I forgot to ask you your name. What can I call you, please?"

'Might as well tell her,' he thought; especially since he was taking her out in public and she might have to shout for him. "I'm the Doctor," he said.

"I thought you were the Wizard," she said, somewhat confused.

"That's my name," he said, waiting for her to come out. "You can just call me 'Doctor'."

"Alright then," she said as she struggled with her sleeves. "Mister Doctor, can you help me please," she said as she walked out from behind the screen. Her slacks and shoes fit fine, but her sleeves seemed to have swallowed her arms and hands. She waved them about at him as she walked up to him. She smiled wickedly as she got closer, then began to let the sleeves hit his legs. "I'm the Dreaded Sleeve-slapping Monster!" she growled menacingly at him.

The Doctor couldn't help but laugh. "Eek! Help!" he said, pretending to almost fall backwards over a trunk trying to get away from her.

Sarah started to thrash the sleeves wildly on his legs now. "Run for your life before the sleeves devour you alive!"

Choking with laughter, the Doctor reached over and grabbed her, effectively neutralizing the Dreaded Sleeve-slapping Monster. "Where did you learn a word like 'devour'," he sputtered, rolling up the sleeves for her.

"My Mummy and Daddy read to me every night," she said. Then she held her hands up in front of his face. "You saved me, you defeated the monster," she exclaimed, wiggling her fingers at him. "It tried to eat my arms."

"Well, we can't have that. All right, then. Ready to go?" he asked.

"Yes, very ready. I'm starving," she rubbed her stomach to prove her point.

"All right then," he said. "Now, before we go, you have to make me a promise. There are going to be lots and lots of strange creatures here, and you absolutely **cannot **wonder off."

She held her pinky up, imitating his previous actions. "Pinky swear, I promise I'll be very, very good for you."

He held out his pinky and shook hers. "OK, thank you, because it's very important." He hesitated for a moment. Reminding her of how important it was, he realized that he was taking a huge chance bringing her to such an alien environment. But they were both up for it, he thought.


	8. Chapter 8

Sarah Jane's eyes were so wide when the TARDIS door opened, they looked as if they would pop out of her head. Everywhere she looked there were unusual sights and sounds, and a multitude of aliens of all species. The beings before her were so diversified, it was impossible for anyone to imagine, let alone take it all in at first sight. They were different sizes and shapes, colors and genders. Short and tall, fat and thin, smooth and bumpy, every type of alien in existence could be found at the market place. They came in a rainbow of colors, even some colors that she had never seen before. They were some in shapes that defied reason. Some seemed almost human, but with a variety of differences. Some had scales, some had feathers, some were furry, while others were totally bald. "Oh, Mister Doctor, where are we? It's so big and busy!" she grabbed his hand and held onto it firmly. "What are those people all in costumes for, is it All Hallow's Eve here? Shouldn't we go back to your big closet and get dressed up too? Oh, and can we carve a lantern please?"

"They're not in costumes, Sarah Jane, that's what they really look like. They're magic, remember? And it's not 'Mister Doctor', it's just 'Doctor'. But you're right, it is big and busy, isn't it? This is the Market of Secaro, the biggest marketplace on this side of the galaxy." He led her out of the TARDIS, around a group of chattering Crespallions, and past two Foamasi haggling over a vehicle. "And this is just one of the car parks," he added.

Sarah Jane craned her neck to see as far as she could. "Can you tell how many people are here?"

He looked around as if he were counting them then let out a breath. "Oh, millions," he said. "The market covers most of the planet's land mass." They worked their way through the crowds until they reached the first row of tables. A swarm of creatures of different races surrounded them, and he lifted her up and sat her on his hip so he could talk to her without shouting. "So, lunch, then?"

Sarah wrapped her arms around his neck as best she could. "Yes please, I'm ever so hungry. What are we having?"

The Doctor looked around and took a sniff, then smiled broadly. "Let's just see, then." He strode purposefully over to a table vibrating with the force of dozens of meatball-like objects bouncing up and down on their plates, somehow managing not to scatter the bed of leafy-looking pasta-like food underneath them. "Doesn't that smell great?"

She leaned over and whiffed at the meatballs. "Mmmm, yummy," she said with a sigh.

"Let's get a taste first," he said. He approached the vendor. "Can we taste a sample?" he asked.

The vendor nodded, and handed him a small net. "If you can catch, you can have a taste."

"That sounds fair," he said, and turned to Sarah. "Want to try?"

Sarah's eyes lit up. "Can I really?"

"Of course," he said, and handed her the net, guiding her hand until she managed to snag a meatball. He then drew it down to the plate and held it there, waiting for the vendor. "Great job, Sarah Jane!"

Sarah was delighted as she looked up at him. "I got it," she said with surprise.

He loved that look in her eyes. "Yes, you got it. Now you get to taste it," he said, handing her the skewer the vendor gave him with a portion of the meatball on it.

She took the skewer and gingerly took a bite. "Oh, it tastes wonderful," she licked around the edges of her mouth. She reached up and handed the skewer to him. "You try it too."

He stuck the end of the skewer in his mouth and pulled off the rest of the meatball. "Delicious. That's definitely a keeper." He turned to the vendor. "Quite delicious, my good ... person." He looked at the list that hung over the side of the table. It read, "1 portion: 1 Venusian Butterfly, 3 Sltertia, 1/4 Devorian bar, 2 Grendins, 1 Kenvere stone, 5 Habanor coins, 10 Mitoes, 3 Lunk Seeds, 4 Ardina Grubs, 5 Jestan Water Corals, or take a chance and make me an offer".

The Doctor set Sarah down so he could rummage through his pockets. "I'm pretty sure I have a ... no, not a ... oh yes, I've ... ah HAH!" He pulled what looked like a bag of marbles out of his pocket and opened it so the vendor could see the contents. When light hit them, the 'marbles' started to vibrate. They began to sparkle brightly when the sun hit them, and he closed the bag. "I don't have any Lunk Seeds, but I do have Parino Berries."

The vendor's smile widened. He looked at the Doctor carefully, and then looked down at Sarah's smiling face. "For you, two portions for one berry, bargain, yes?"

"And a good bargain at that," the Doctor said. He opened the bag again so the vendor could choose a berry, then handed him a second berry and closed the bag, stuffing it back into his pocket. The vendor pulled two boxes out from behind the table and the Doctor helped him put them into a shoulder bag he'd also pulled out of his pocket.

"Excuse me," said the vendor to the Doctor. "For the little one," he said as he gave them a carton of the pasta like leafy stuff. "Alright, yes?" he asked him.

"Yes, thank you very much," the Doctor said, bowing. "Sarah?"

"Thank you very very much Sir," she said as she curtsied at him.

The Doctor smiled at her and picked her up again.

"Goodbye," waved Sarah Jane at the vendor. Smiling, the vendor waved back at her.

Sarah grew more and more fascinated with each booth they saw. There were all manner of interesting things to see and try. The Doctor however, insisted that they eat first, and then they would go back and look at the other things that had caught her eye. So they wandered around in the food section till they had finished making all of their choices.

The first thing they had decided on was some sort of glowing stuff that had the consistency of Jell-o. The Doctor took the first bite and as soon as he put it in his mouth, he began to hum loudly. Sarah laughed and started to sway to the 'music' he was making. "Ooh, do you know 'Hot Diggity, Dog Ziggity'?" she asked him.

"I'm afraid not," he shook his head, smiling and still humming.

"May I have some, please?" she asked.

When he nodded his head and pushed the box towards her, she took a bite eagerly, then started humming the song for him. In a few moments, once the Doctor learned the tune, they were both humming along happily while they ate.

Sarah was giggling by the time they had finished it all. "What's next?" she said, eying the rest of the food.

They spent some time chasing the meatballs and eating them with the leafy pasta that Sarah Jane insisted on sharing with the Doctor. Once in a while one would get away and Sarah would watch while it floated upwards and a few brightly colored birds would fly after it and swoop it up skillfully. The birds were common at the market and knew to watch and wait by the eating area. Occasionally Sarah would let one get away, just to watch the birds.

After the meat balls, they decided to eat some popping bean-like things that made small explosions when you put them in your mouth. Knowing what would happen, the Doctor offered Sarah Jane the first bite. She looked at the beans, smelled them, and then cautiously put one in her mouth. It began to crackle and then made a small burst. Sarah Jane jumped and then laughed. "It burps for you," she exclaimed with surprise.

The Doctor laughed with her and then took a small mouthful of the beans. In a few seconds his cheeks popped out and a small puff of smoke slipped out of the side of his mouth. "Excuse me," he said with a goofy grin.

Sarah was holding her sides and laughing so hard she began to cry. "Do it again," she begged him. He obliged her and she laughed even harder. "Eat some more please," she said, shoving the entire container of beans at him.

"I will if you have some too," he said enjoying the sound of her laughter. Sarah Jane took a spoonful of the beans, smiling wickedly as she put them into her mouth. She laughed as she felt them start to burst. The beans puffed her cheeks out and she giggled. As the smoke started to come out of her mouth, she opened it and a bean flew out and hit the Doctor's head with a noisy burst. Her hands flew up to her face. "Oh I'm so sorry," she said trying not to laugh. "I didn't mean it!" But this time she unable to stifle a giggle.

"That's perfectly alright," he laughed with her. "Just be careful where you aim when your mouth is loaded."

Lastly, there was an odd sort of substance that changed it's taste, shape and color every thirty seconds. The trick to eating it was to smell it fast and swallow it while it still had a flavor that you liked. "Now pay close attention Sarah Jane," said the Doctor. "I have to warn you about this particular food before you eat it. You must first smell each bite and make sure that it smells good to you, then quickly pop it into your mouth, that way it will always taste good. If you make a mistake and eat it, it can be a very unpleasant experience. Watch me first, alright?"

Sarah nodded and stared intently at him.

The Doctor took a spoonful, smelled it and then ate it. He took another bite, smelled that one and then waited. He smelled it again when it changed color and then ate that. "Now you try it, he said to Sarah.

She gingerly took some in her spoon, smelled it and then ate it. "Mmmm, it's delicious," she declared.

"Good," said the Doctor with satisfaction. "It's all just a matter of timing you see. It's simple enough if you pay attention." He took a bite absently as he talked.

Sarah Jane giggled hysterically at the face the Doctor made as he sputtered and choked. He had ended up with what he could only describe to her as, 'a very bad taste in my mouth'.


	9. Chapter 9

When they'd eaten their fill, the Doctor decided to forgo his usual wanderings through the gadget section -- his personal weakness, he admitted to himself -- and head straight for the toys. Not that he could have avoided it for long, he realized, watching the look of wonder on Sarah's face as a mechanical bird flew around her head singing a familiar tune.

Sarah's eyes twinkled with curiosity and joy at the same time. "Oh Doctor," she said with astonishment. "It's lovely and it's singing my favorite song!" She held her hand out and the bird lighted on one of her small fingers. Sarah gasped as she looked at it and then turned to the Doctor for an explanation.

The Doctor looked over at the vendor who'd sent the bird over and smiled, shaking his head. "It's a telepathic toy, and it's singing just for you," he explained. "This bird reads your mind and knows what you want to hear." He watched her pet the bird, and walked over to the stand, which was filled with treasures. An open book projecting an animated hologram as it read its story sat next to a Mental Picture Puzzle, which enabled the user to hold the frame and picture the image he or she wanted. It would then break into pieces to be reassembled by the user or someone the user chose.

Sarah stared at the table in complete awe. "What do you like?" he asked her.

Sarah Jane's eyes locked onto a humanoid doll that didn't seem to be anything unusual, but was very pretty. The vendor smiled and then looked at it too, in a few seconds it began to change its appearance until it looked exactly like Sarah Jane. Sarah's mouth hung open with surprise. "It's me!" she said with pure delight.

"You're prettier," the Doctor smiled, wondering how many toys he was going to end up buying her. She couldn't take them home to Lavinia, of course, but she could enjoy them for a little while, at least.

"May I hold her please," Sarah Jane asked with longing.

"All right." He turned to the vendor, whom he thought might be female, but he wasn't sure. "Would you mind?"

"Not at all," said the vendor, knowing that once a child held one of the toys, there was a better chance of a sale. "The doll will look like anyone you want it to," she said, as she handed it to Sarah Jane with a kind smile.

Sarah Jane took it from her in awe. "Thank you," she said, and looked at the doll over closely. Suddenly it began to change. It took Sarah a bit more time than the vendor, but soon the doll looked exactly like the Doctor. Sarah Jane hugged it close to her and gave it a kiss on the cheek.

Time Lords don't blush, as a general rule, but the Doctor felt the heat rising in his face. He realized there was no way they were walking out of there without that doll -- and the vendor knew it. He sighed. He set Sarah down on a crate and started rummaging in his pockets. "All right, what sorts of things are you looking for? Animal, vegetable, mineral, or mechanical?"

"Well," smiled the vendor. "I'm very partial to mechanical."

Sarah Jane focused all her attention on the doll. She straightened its jacket, mussed its hair and then made it fly. After a few moments though, she started watching the real Doctor closely. She noticed that he kept fishing things to trade with out of his pocket. With her head was just slightly higher than the top of his right hand pocket, she was at the perfect eye level for it. She leaned forward with curiosity as she watched him fumble around for a while, then pull out an object that was bigger than the opening. As his hand suddenly began to come out, the pocket seemed to stretch, becoming somewhat larger than the item he extracted from within it.

Fortunately, the Doctor enjoyed bartering; it was social interaction that would have absolutely horrified the Time Lords. Looking around at the types of items the vendor carried, he was pretty sure a flux capacitor would appeal to her -- so he set it down as though he had no intention of trading it and went back to rummaging in his pocket. He pulled out a circuit panel, dangling wires and all. "Neutron junction box?" he offered.

The vendor looked at the capacitor hungrily and then at the other items. "Perhaps you would like several toys, Sir. I will give you the doll and your choice of any three other items on my table if you are willing to part with the capacitor and the junction box."

He smiled inwardly. "Well, what do you think, Sarah? The Thought Bubbles are particularly --" His hearts skipped a beat as he realized she was gone.


	10. Chapter 10

"Sarah!" he yelled, frantically looking around. "Sarah Jane!!!"

The vendor frowned and looked around for her too. "She was just here. I didn't see her leave, and there was no-one around her. She can't be far," the vendor said, looking under her table. Sarah was nowhere to be seen.

The Doctor shoved aside some of the toys on her table without apology and leapt up onto it to get a better view of the surrounding crowd. "Sarah Jane!!!" He could barely breathe with terror at the idea of something happening to her in this state.

Sarah Jane meanwhile, wasn't quite panicked yet, but she was very frightened. She felt as if someone had scooped her up and dumped her into a bag. It was very dark and the Doctor didn't seem to be able to hear her. "Doctor, I'm here, please come and find me," she called out to him, but he didn't answer her. With a lot of effort she finally managed to straighten herself upright.

The Doctor didn't see any sign of Sarah Jane. Panicking now, he looked again under the table, and all the surrounding tables, knowing that with every passing second she could be farther and farther away. He tried to decide what was the most likely direction someone who'd just taken a little girl would go, then he thought about circling the spot to try and find her, then he just found himself randomly running looking for signs of her, all the while a little voice in the back of his head telling him he wasn't even thinking, let alone thinking clearly. He had to find her. NOW.

Sarah felt her way around in the dark and then began to try and climb up on the things that surrounded her. Unfortunately, it seemed to her that as she climbed up, the objects just moved farther down. Then, she fell and once more, she had to struggle to get back up again.

As the minutes ticked by the Doctor began asking everyone within the sound of his voice to look for a little human girl in a pair of blue overalls and a light blue long-sleeved shirt. Everyone he could see was looking around for her, and nobody was finding her. 'How could I be so stupid!' he thought. To take a child into his life ... it was senseless and irresponsible and he deserved to feel the terror he was drowning in, but it was Sarah Jane who was paying the price. Another fear slammed him in the chest. If Sarah Jane was lost, what had he just done to their timeline? It was understandable to cross his timeline to save her, but he should have left it at that. Now there was a very real chance that she could be lost to him for all time. "SARAH JANE!!!!"

After about ten minutes, Sarah Jane was as far up as she could possibly balance herself. She began to pound on the sides of the walls and call out louder. "Doctor, Doctor, I can hear you, where are you? I'm lost and I'm scared."

The Doctor stood in the cacophony of the market, feeling utterly lost. She could be anywhere. By now she could be halfway off the planet, on her way to ... he didn't even want to think of the terrible possibilities. Of all the times he'd been in trouble, and all the times his companions had been in trouble, and even all the times Sarah Jane had been in trouble, he'd never, ever, felt this ... helpless. He leaned back against a pole and shoved is hands into his pockets.

All at once, Sarah saw a ray of light and could see something coming toward her. She realized it was a hand and hoped it was the Doctor's. She quickly grabbed for it as tightly as she could when it came near enough for her to reach. "Doctor," she called out loudly. "Is that you?"

The Doctor almost jumped out of his skin when he felt something grab his hand. When he started to pull it back out again as a reflex and the something didn't let go, he realized immediately what had happened and his whole body shuddered with relief. He reached over with his other hand and took hold of the tiny arm now protruding from his pocket. Holding it tightly he hauled Sarah out of his pocket and set her on the ground, kneeling down in front of her.

Everyone around them stopped looking for Sarah Jane and applauded, but the Doctor didn't hear any of it. Instead, he held her tightly by her shoulders, looking desperately into her eyes. "What were you doing in my pocket? Don't you know how worried I was? You practically scared me to death! Are you all right?"

Sarah nodded. "I'm sorry, it was an accident. I just wanted to see how your pocket works, so I stretched and stretched and it just kept getting bigger and bigger, and then I fell in," she said. She was trying to recover from her fear too, her lower lip trembled, and she started crying. "Honestly, I wasn't trying to misbehave."

The Doctor picked her up and hugged her, holding her close. She wasn't the only one crying, both in relief at finding her and still the terror at having lost her in the first place. For now, though, she needed him and he tried to reign it in. He stroked the back of her head. "It's all right," he said. "I know you didn't mean it. I was just worried about you." He wanted to tell her not to cry, but he was pretty sure that her tears weren't just from the fear of the last few minutes, and he knew she needed to start grieving. But she gathered herself as if she were much, much older, and in a few moments the tears had stopped, giving way to sniffles. She was determined not to let it overcome her -- at least, not now. He sighed. "Everything is going to be all right."

Sarah threw her arms around him and leaned her head on his shoulder. "Then you're not mad at me?"

"No, no, baby," he said. "I'm not mad at you. You didn't do anything wrong. You were just ..." He took a deep breath. "You were just a little too curious. It's all right." He stroked her hair again. "You just catch your breath. Everything's going to be all right, sweetheart."

Sarah Jane was content to snuggle into the nook of his arm and let him comfort her.

When she had calmed down enough, the Doctor let her pick three other toys besides the doll. Sarah decided on the mechanical bird, and some Thought Bubbles. When she asked for the planet projector, he tried to convince her that it was for a much older child, but she wouldn't be dissuaded. He decided let her try it, and she surprised him by operating it fairly well, but then she quickly got bored with it. Finally, she chose a game that consisted of letting furry little creatures out of a box, and chasing them to see how fast you could catch them and get them back into the box. The Doctor gave the vendor what she wanted for it. "I think it's time to head back to the TARDIS," he said.

Sarah sighed and gave him a sad look. "Is it because I got lost in your pocket?"

It was, of course; he'd had quite enough excitement for one day. But he didn't want her to feel bad about it. "If we don't go back to the TARDIS, you're not going to get to play with your toys," he said.

She thought about playing with her toys and smiled. "Alright then, let's go back. A thought occurred to her and she began to panic. "I lost my you doll!"

He looked around and didn't see it. "I know," he said, and stood up, rummaging in his pocket and pulling out the doll. "There you go."

Sarah Jane hugged the doll and then the Doctor. "Thank you so much."

"You're welcome, sweetheart," he said, carrying her through the market and back to the TARDIS. Once they were there, he set her down on the floor of the console room and gave her her toys to play with. Idly, he began setting the coordinates for her aunt's house, then changed his mind and cleared the destination completely, dematerializing the TARDIS and parking them firmly in the vortex for a while. For now, he just watched her play. They'd had quite a day; he'd never forget it, he knew that. Sarah Jane, on the other hand... He sighed.

Sarah Jane at the moment was playing with her thought bubbles. She would blow and think at the same time, and whatever she thought about took form. She had just finished blowing a star shaped bubble. As she watched it float around the room, she became aware of him watching her. "Want to try it?" she asked in an effort to please him.

"Certainly," he said, reaching for the wand. "You really like it here, don't you, Sarah Jane," he said. It wasn't really a question, more of a statement of the obvious. He blew gently through the bubble wand and a TARDIS-shaped bubble appeared.

"I love it here," she said simply as she watched the bubble. Then she looked at him sadly. "But I can't stay even if I want to can I?"

Oh, how he wanted her to. As an adult she'd always been so ferociously independent, even if deep inside she seemed to like when he took care of her. Now, she was completely free of any pretense. She just accepted his love and care without question. On the other hand, if she were ever going to grow into that strong, ferociously independent woman he fell in love with, he had to let her go.

And then he thought about the events of the day. He shook his head, rubbing his face as though he'd just woken up. How could he even consider taking a child off with him? Thank goodness she'd only fallen into his pocket! When he thought of what else could have happened to her... "No, I'm afraid you can't."


	11. Chapter 11

She walked over to him, took his hand, then laid her head against his arm. "How long can I stay before it's time to go?"

He stroked her head once more. "I'm afraid we'll need to start heading back soon."

Sarah Jane nodded sadly and went back to playing with her doll. After a few moments, she grew very quiet. She was staring down at the doll and soon it began to take on the appearance of her mother. Sarah kissed the doll and just sat there, hugging and rocking it.

The Doctor watched the expression on her face. She'd been so brave through all of this. He'd seen enough death in 900 years to know that children don't always react the way adults expected them to, but those feelings were still inside, and he wanted so badly to help her.

He sat down on the floor next to her and put his arm around her. "You know," he said quietly, "Not too long ago my mum and dad died." Images of Gallifrey burning pushed into his mind, unbidden. Normally, he would force them back, but that seemed somehow wrong, now. "If you ... if you want to talk about what that's like, I'm here for you."

Her eyes searched his for a moment. Then she put her head down and stroked the 'mum' doll's head. "What happened to them?" she asked.

He took a deep breath. Expressing healthy emotions was one thing; breaking down in front of a five year old who needed him to be strong was something else. But even leaving out his part in it, how could he possibly begin to explain the death of an entire planet to her? "It was ... it was a fire."

Sarah Jane looked up at him. "My mummy and daddy were in a fire too," she almost whispered.

He just held her. "I know."

She was quiet for a while. Then she looked up at him suddenly. "Is it my fault? If I loved them more would they have been able to stay with me? I loved them as much as I could, why did they have to go away?" A small tear trickled down her cheek and she quickly wiped it away. 

"No," he said firmly, looking into her eyes as though he could force her to understand. "Your mummy and daddy's accident was just that: an accident. It wasn't anybody's fault, and it certainly wasn't your fault. Death is just something that happens in life. People, they're born, and they live, and they die, that's what life is. Sometimes it just happens sooner than we want it to." He rubbed his eyes. 'Like a beautiful fleeting human life for a Time Lord,' he realized. For a split second she was no longer a five year old sitting on the floor with him, but a twenty-nine year old standing at the door begging him with her eyes not to leave her. How could he have been so stupid? "But that's not your fault, and you shouldn't ever blame yourself for that," he told her.

She thought for a moment, then looked at him with an expression of pain mixed with guilt that he would never forget. "Why didn't I die with them?"

If a bolt of lightning had struck him right on the spot, it would have jolted him less than that one simple question. The memory of that time came back to him, riding waves of pain still fresh despite years of pushing it away. How many times had he asked that question? How many times had he replayed the activation of the Moment in his head, watching as everything that was at his core burned and sank into the void, watching the conflagration hurtling towards him, cursing the TARDIS for stealing him away, unbidden, from his death. What could he say to her? "You ... you have a life to live, Sarah Jane. You're going to do great things. You're going to ..." He smiled, realizing what he was about to say. "You're going to help people, and save people, and if you had died with them, all of those people ... You're meant to live." He felt the tears welling in his eyes and pushed them back. "The universe needs you. I know that's a lot for you right now, but one day, you'll understand that."

She stood up and put her arms around him, then reached up and stroked his cheek solemnly. "Did it make you very sad, and did you cry when your Mummy and Daddy died?"

He closed his eyes at the touch of her hand. She was so young, and so old, all at once. He looked at her. "Oh, I was very, very sad, and boy, did I cry. I cried and cried and cried. I cried until I didn't think I'd ever have any more tears left, ever."

"Did they come back after a while," she asked hopefully.

He swallowed hard. "Sarah Jane, I know this may be a little difficult for you to understand, but when somebody dies, they don't ... they're not just going away for a while. My mum and dad, and your mummy and your daddy, they loved us very much, and they didn't leave us exactly. It's just ... it's just that they ... they aren't alive any more, so they can't come back and be here to talk with us, and read us bedtime stories, and hold our hands. It's not their fault, it's no one's fault, that's just the way it is when someone dies. He felt the tears coming, and this time he couldn't stop them. He didn't know if he was crying for her, for the sorrow he knew would come once she understood, or for himself.

Sarah Jane threw her arms around the Doctor and cried, and he cried with her. Together they held each other and all of that emotion they'd both been holding in check for so long began to flow. The Doctor felt himself letting go of so much pain he'd been clinging to and realized that here he was trying to help her, and she'd helped him. How very like Sarah Jane. No wonder she meant so much to him. No wonder he felt so empty without her.

The Doctor rocked her back and forth as she cried harder than she had ever cried before in all of her five tender young years. Up until today, her life had been happy and full of love. Suddenly all the security she had ever known had been ripped away from her. For the first time since the accident, Sarah Jane started to realize that death meant being separated from her parents. As what she had really lost began to sink into her little mind, she realized that her parents would no longer be there to love and care for her, and she was afraid. While she didn't understand everything about death, she understood enough to know that she didn't want to be alone. "Please don't leave me too," she pleaded with the Doctor, still sobbing.

He held onto her as though she were the most precious gift the universe had ever given him -- and in fact, she was. He stroked her head, not knowing what to say to her. Knowing what would happen in her future, what she'd said echoed in his mind, haunting him. When her crying slowed a little, he put his finger under her chin and turned her head up to face him, so that she could look into his eyes. "Sarah Jane, I want you to listen to me very carefully," he said, with an intensity that would have been frightening coming from anyone else. "No matter what happens in the future, no matter how far away I may have to go, I want you to know that I will always, **always**, love you, and I promise to make sure that you are always going to be safe and cared for. You're never really going to be alone. Do you understand that?"

Tears ran quietly down her cheek now as she stared deeply into his eyes. "I love you too, Doctor," she sniffed. "For ever and ever."

He held her again, feeling her bury her face in his shoulder. "For ever and ever," he murmured, knowing exactly where he was going when he got her settled in with her Aunt Lavinia. He looked into her eyes once more. "When we leave here, we're going to go to your Aunt Lavinia's, and she's going to love you, and care for you, just as your mummy and daddy would want her to. Do you understand?"

"Yes, if that's what you want," she said sadly. "But I really wish that you could take care of me," she said hopefully.

"Leaving you with your Aunt is not what I want. But it's what you need right now, because I really can't take care of you. I'm not good at it. I'm a lot of fun to be around most of the time, and I can take you to magical places, but you said it yourself, I'm not exactly a grown up, and a little girl needs a grown up to take care of her. That's why we need to go to Aunt Lavinia." He smiled, drying his face with a handkerchief he'd pulled out of is pocket, then handing it to her. "But I promise you that you **will **see me again."

Sarah nodded. "I need to change my clothes then, and get my things together," she said as she bit her bottom lip trying to stop crying.

He hugged her one more time. "Before you do, there's one more thing you need to know."

"What's that," she asked, still trying her hardest to be brave.

"It's all right to be sad. You might be sad for a long, long time, and that's all right. But eventually the sad will get smaller and smaller," he said, willing himself to believe it. "And you'll be able to think of Mummy and Daddy without being sad at all, and just think of the happy times. But you don't have to be in a hurry to get there. For now, it's all right to be sad, and to cry whenever you need to."

Sarah Jane put both her hands on his face. "Who's going to take care of you? You lost your mummy and Daddy too. You need someone to hug you when you're sad and need to cry."


	12. Chapter 12

He smiled at her, enjoying the warmth of her hands on his face. "I'll have you," he said. "I told you, you're going to see me again. It may take a little while, but you will definitely see me again."

"Will it be when I'm a big girl and ready to come back here?" she asked, leaning her cheek against his.

He wondered if he could really give up on the idea of ever seeing this little version of Sarah Jane again. "Why don't you just let me surprise you?"

His answer was exactly vague enough to encourage Sarah Jane. She knew, as every young child does, that if the answer isn't exact, there's a chance it could mean what you really want it to mean. "Oh, I hope it will be soon," she said, smiling warmly at him.

'Oh, that smile, it just keeps tugging at my hearts,' he thought. "Me too," he said, smiling back at her. "Now. Ready?"

"Not yet," she said to him as if he were the child and she was the adult. "Remember, I have to change my clothes first."

He smiled at her pseudo-maturity. She was like an old soul in a 5-year-old body. "All right, then, let's go." He took her hand and slowly walked her back to the boot cupboard, where she'd left her dress. "Why don't you go and change your clothes, and I'll go get your flower."

"Please don't forget Elizabeth, I left her behind too," Sarah Jane called out to him as she went to change.

He sighed as he walked back to the garden. He thought he'd missed her before; this was going to be much worse. In the garden he neatly snipped the bloom she'd chosen, leaving enough stem for her to put it in water like a normal terrestrial flower, even though it didn't need it. Then he gathered up her stuffed owl and headed back.

Halfway back to the boot cupboard he doubled back just a little and opened the door to one particular bedroom. Pink and white, it was just as she'd left it (or would leave it), except that he'd tidied up and made the bed. Every once in a while he'd come in here and just sit, enjoying the faint scent of her and pretending she was still traveling with him. More than one companion had teased him about it, referring to the room as "the shrine". After he'd given Rose a stern talking to for coming in, she'd taken to referring to the room's former occupant (not altogether charitably) as "Saint Sarah". It didn't stop him.

He opened the nightstand drawer and pulled out a box of chocolate-covered cherries. He'd often enjoyed the mingling of the chocolate smell with the peaches and hyacinth that were her signature scent, so when she'd mentioned chocolate covered cherries, seemingly forever ago, he'd known just where to find them. Fortunately, for the most part food didn't spoil in the TARDIS, and after pulling out a single cherry and placing it carefully back in the drawer so he could still smell it, he tucked the box under his arm and headed back to the boot cupboard.

When he arrived, she was sitting on a trunk, swinging her legs while she waited for him.

He set the chocolates in front of her. "I believe these are yours."

Sarah Jane's eyes grew huge. "The whole box? Mummy never let me eat that much, she said it would make me sick." Sarah opened the box and then looked up at the Doctor. "Somebody already ate some. Is this your box of candies?"

He smiled. Oh, if she only knew. "They were. Now they're yours. And I don't think there's enough left in there to make you sick."

"Thank you," she said politely. "Would you like one?" She offered the box to him before she had any.

"No, thank you," he said. "I've saved them for you."

She smiled gratefully at him and popped one into her mouth. She broke the chocolate shell, sucked on the juice and then started munching on the cherry. "Mmmm," she said as she ate it. When her mouth was empty she counted out how many were left. "There are six more here," she said happily. "Now there's going to be only five more." She popped another piece into her mouth and shrugged her shoulders at him, still smiling.

He smiled back at her. "I'll bet in a moment there will only be four more."

She nodded in agreement as she chewed away with obvious pleasure. When she finished, she looked over at him and put her arms around his neck affectionately. "Can I take rest of the chocolates with me instead of eating them all right now? I'm not as hungry as I thought I was." Her stomach growled as if on cue. "My tummy's eating what I just sent it," she said, pointing to her stomach.

He stifled a chuckle. "Of course you can take it with you," he said. "Now then, let's go tell the blue box where your Auntie lives." He started to swing her up onto his shoulders for one more airplane ride back to the control room.

"Thank you for everything Doctor. I think you're wonderful," she said as she threw her arms around him and kissed his cheek. He felt himself blushing. In all the years they'd traveled together, they had never shared so much as a peck on the cheek. Now here she was, a complete innocent, oblivious of any reason not to. "You're welcome." He said, and put her back on his shoulders before she could say anything else.

She sat up there thinking as he walked back to the control room. She put her head on top of his and looked around comfortably as it stayed there. She was completely unaware of how many times he would do that to her. She also had no idea that this was the only time she would be able to do it to him. "If you know me from when I'm big, do you know what I'm going to be when I grow up," she asked him.

"Yes," he said.

"Then what am I going to be," she said, playing with her fingers in his hair.

"A journalist," he said.

"What is that, please?" she asked, still playing with his hair. At the moment, she had both hands in it, and was making it go in a sort of mohawk up the center of his head.

"A journalist is a person who looks around to see what's going on and writes it in the newspaper so everybody knows," he answered, setting the coordinates with one hand and holding her ankle with the other.

"Oh, that sounds like fun. I think I'll like that," she said, mussing his hair up as she started to create yet another new hairdo for him. "Good, because that's what you're going to do," he said. "Until we meet again, that is."

"Is that when we'll get married, and live happily ever after?" she asked. Now she was making lots of little spikes in his hair.

He laughed at her one-track mind. "You'll have to find out then," he said, swinging her off his shoulders and into his arms. "Because we've just arrived at your Auntie's house."

"But you are going to marry me, aren't you? You have to, or we can't live happily ever after," she said, with child like certainty.

"We'll talk about it when the time comes, but some things will have to wait. Because you, my dear, are very sleepy." He slid his finger across her forehead as he would do so often in their travels. "And now, you're going to sleep."

Sarah Jane said nothing. She had fallen asleep on his chest, her flower still clutched in her hand, and her owl pressed against her chest. 


	13. Chapter 13

He stared at her for several long moments. He really did wish he could keep her with him, just like this. Seeing her this way, with all the innocence of childhood -- even after this tragedy -- had sparked something deep within him. He'd always been a wanderer; it was part of his nature. But since the war, it was almost as though he'd lost his sense of purpose, moving from adventure to adventure trying to fill some gaping hole inside him. Now he remembered what it had been like to travel with her, and the way his life could be. She had made him realize that he didn't need to be alone.

For the first time since the war, he didn't feel empty.

Looking down at her sleeping face, he knew he couldn't take this day away from her -- or from him, for that matter. On the other hand, he couldn't very well send her back remembering everything. Lavinia would probably think she'd lost her reason because of the trauma. So he compromised; she would remember the day, but only when she was with him -- the current him, that is. Otherwise, she'd remember it, but only as a wonderful dream. The Metebelis Angel would be a confusing tie between the dream and reality, but he decided that leaving it with her to reason things out was better than taking it away from her.

Idly, he wondered about Deffry Vale; was this why she was so upset with him? He pushed that aside for now. He hugged her for a moment, then kissed her cheek. There would be plenty of time to think about that later. Finally, he opened the door and stepped out, managing to lock it behind them before walking a few houses down to the one in which Sarah was to grow up. He rang the bell.

A pleasant looking woman in her early to mid-thirties answered the door. It was obvious that she had been crying for hours. "Sarah Jane," she cried out. "Where did you find her," she said to the Doctor with tears of relief in her eyes.

"She was wandering on the road," he said. "Said something about an accident, and that she wanted to come here. Can I bring her in? She's exhausted."

"Of course," she said as she held the door open and stepped aside for him. "So sorry, I was just so happy to see her." She walked into the house behind him. "Can you bring her into the room she usually uses while she's here please? It's this way." She led the Doctor to a small bedroom in the corner of the house.

"Just set her down there on the bed," Lavinia said when they reached the bedroom.

He did, taking care not to wake her. "She's a pretty imaginative girl," he said quietly. "Will you ... be caring for her?" He set the box of chocolates on the nightstand.

"Seeing as I'm her only living relative, I suppose I'm the only one that can, and I do care for her very much." Lavinia smiled dotingly at Sarah Jane. "At least she's used to me. She and her parents have been visiting here regularly ever since she was born." Lavinia looked at her again and sighed. "It will take a bit of adjustment for both of us, I'm not used to have a child about the house, and she's going to be so homesick. Poor dear child, losing both of her parents like that, such a terrible tragedy to deal with and at such a young age. Did she say anything more about it?"

He shook his head. "I'm sure you're up to the task. And I'm sure she'll be all right eventually." Sarah Jane had always talked glowingly about her time with her Aunt, and he felt compelled to take her hand and shake it. "Thank you for taking care of her. It's a load off my mind to know the poor little thing will be with someone who really loves her."

"They say children adjust to these things much better than adults do, but then our Sarah Jane has always been much more like a very small adult than a child. She's quite bright you know." She sighed again and thought of what she could possibly do for her when she awoke. "I'm so sorry, today has been such a shock. My poor dear brother and his sweet wife, both taken so quickly, and when their lives were really just starting. Dear me, I've completely forgotten my manners. Can I get you some tea, Mister... oh heavens, I have been unforgivably rude. I haven't even asked you what your name is."

"Smith," he said. "Doctor John Smith. "Thank you, I'd love to stay for tea."

Lavinia smiled. "I'll just be a minute then, make yourself comfortable in the living room," she said heading towards the kitchen.

He glanced around the house as he went to sit down. There were several pictures on one of the walls. Sarah Jane as a baby being held proudly by her parents. Lavinia and her brother Eddie. Lavinia and Sarah Jane at about age three. Barbara and Eddie Smith at their wedding, with Lavinia standing next to them. Sarah Jane being hugged by her dad and mom when she was about two. It was obvious that she took after her mother. They all looked so happy. Now Sarah would have to live her life without her parents. He was glad he knew how she would grow up, otherwise he would have been very worried about her.

"Here's the tea, I hope you like Earl Grey, Doctor Smith."

He looked at the selection and realized that he really wasn't that hungry. Still, couldn't be rude. So he took two small cakes and sipped his tea. "This is marvelous," he said. "Thank you."

They sat and talked for about an hour and then he noticed Sarah Jane was awake. She must have been awake for a while, as she had already changed into her play clothes. She was wearing bibbed overalls and a long red shirt. She had also changed into red tennis shoes. She saw him, gave him a huge smile and then ran and jumped into his lap. "You're still here," she said, laying her head on his shoulder.

"Just for a little while." he said. "I thought you were sleeping."

"I was but then I woke up," she wrinkled her nose up and smiled at him. Then she turned to her Aunt. "Hello Auntie," she said quietly.

"Hello Sarah Jane," her Aunt smiled at her. "I see you have a new friend."

"Yes," she smiled at the Doctor. "He's a very nice man," she said squeezing his hand. Oddly, Sarah said nothing else about him. Nothing about the magic blue box, any of what had happened to her, or what they did together that day.

"Well," he finally said, "I'm afraid I'm going to get going." He picked her up and set her on her feet. "Thank you so much for everything," he said, shaking Lavinia's hand again.

"Thank you, Doctor Smith," she said as she took his hand. "You're welcome to come back and visit anytime you're free. I'm sure Sarah Jane would be very pleased to see you again." Then she looked over at Sarah Jane, who was smiling with satisfaction. "Say thank you and good bye to your friend Sarah Jane, he has to leave now."

Sarah looked up at him and then said, "Please wait, I'll be right back." Then she ran into her room. When she came out, she was holding her owl and the Metibilis Angel. "Look what I have Auntie," she smiled as she ran to her Aunt, holding the flower up for her to see. "It's a gift from my friend, smell it. It smells wonderful."

Lavinia bent down slightly and sniffed it. "Oh, it is quite lovely and it does smell wonderful my dear," her Aunt smiled at her as she stroked her head fondly. "Let's not keep Doctor Smith waiting dear, it's not polite."

Sarah nodded and ran over to the Doctor. She had something else in her hand. It was a little ring that she had slipped off of her finger. She had worn it for as long as she could remember, and she motioned solemnly for the Doctor to bend down.

He made a solemn face back and bent down for her.

She slipped the ring into his hand then put her arms around his neck and whispered into his ear. "I wanted to give you something so you'll remember to come back. I'll be waiting for you, even if it takes forever. I love you." She kissed his cheek for the second time that day, then she let go of him. She stood there as he stared at her. She had her owl in one hand and her flower in the other. "Good bye Doctor. Don't forget me," she said with a sad smile on her face.

For a moment, he was speechless. Then, "Don't you forget me," he said. He stood up then turned to Lavinia. "Thank you again," he said to her, and practically bolted out of the door.


	14. Chapter 14

**London, 2006**

As Sarah Jane approached the drive that led to Deffry Vale High School, she was anticipating the thrill of the hunt. 'Nothing like an investigative search to brighten one's spirits,' she thought to herself. From the very moment she was led into the headmaster's office, she could smell conspiracy lurking. She smiled as sweetly as she could as she shook the man's hand. She knew if she could get on his good side, things would go a lot more smoothly for her.

"I can't tell you how much I've been looking forward to meeting you, Mr. Finch. I think you're the perfect man for me to do a profile on. After all, you're young and attractive, and you've made some fascinating improvements in a school that's well known for sticking to tradition, despite all the other schools rushing to modernize."

Finch motioned for her to take a seat and smiled smoothly at her, taking his own seat. "Thank you, Miss Smith. I'm so pleased to be able to show the educational establishment how it's possible to blend the old with the new, incorporating innovation without completely disregarding the cherished traditions of the past."

"If you don't mind, I'd like to interview you for a while, and then if I may, I'd like to talk to some of the teachers and the students for a time. I'm sure given the results of your work, they'll all have glowing reports concerning you and all you've done. Right now, I'm thinking that there could be a front page story about you in all of this, Mr. Finch. In fact, I'm almost positive of it," She smiled warmly at him.

When Sarah Jane had finished with the headmaster, he offered to personally take her inside and introduce her to the staff, informing her that this was the time of day that most of them could be found in the teacher's lounge.

As Mr. Finch proudly announced that Sarah was here to write a story featuring him, she started looking around to see which teacher looked most interested in talking to her. She spotted a fairly attractive young man who was looking at her with a somewhat pleased and eager expression on his face, and she walked over to introduce herself.

As she got closer to him, she paused. She was starting to remember something. She had the feeling that somehow, though it didn't seem possible, she knew him from somewhere. She felt as though she were waking from a dream that was so real that even though she was awake, it still seemed to be happening. Yes, she did know him, but from a time that was hazy in her memory. He was someone she had until this moment only dreamed about. Was this really the man she'd dreamt about all those years ago? It seemed so real. But it was so long ago, and she was so young. And the magic blue box. Was it the TARDIS? Or had she just infused such a beautiful dream with the magic of her time with the Doctor? Or ... could it be that it had really been him? Had he gone back to his past to save her? Because that would mean this man, this young man grinning at her like an idiot, was the Doctor. She decided to remain calm and act as if she didn't know him. Obviously, if he was the Doctor, he was here undercover, the same as she was.

Sarah Jane remained outwardly calm as she extended a hand to the man. "Hullo."

The Doctor had been trying to elicit some information from one of the school's history professors without giving away his own part in the mystery when suddenly his breath caught in his throat. Sarah Jane Smith? It couldn't be. But it was. Right there in front of him. All at once everything his fourth incarnation had felt about her, all the love, all the longing, it was right there, in his chest, screaming to get out. He wanted to just grab her and pull her into the biggest hug he'd ever given her. Unfortunately, he knew that he couldn't do that here. She'd said something to him, he knew that, but what was it? He'd been so focused on the fact that she was here, she was really here, that he hadn't actually heard her. "I should think so," he guessed.

She smiled at his obvious confusion. It must be him, he's so flustered at the sight of me after all this time. "And you are?"

Of course she didn't recognize him, he'd regenerated so many times since he saw her last. He caught the words, "The Doctor" just as they were about to leave his mouth. "Hm?" Oh, what she did to him. What **was **his name again? "Um ... Smith... John Smith."'

She almost laughed at that. Oh how she wanted to hug him and bury her head in his shoulder. Silly really, pretending not to know each other, still, must keep up the right appearances. "John Smith. I used to have a friend who sometimes went by that name."

'She remembers me!' he thought, then 'Of course she remembers you, you dolt. She was your life for six years, before you were a fool and let her go.' He wondered, was that fondness in her eyes? Did she, miracle of miracles, forgive him? "Well, it's a very common name."

Oh, the look he was giving her was absolutely melting her away. 'Really Doctor, not fair, to look at a girl that way, and then expect her not to react' Well, she'd just flash him a big warm smile back and see how he handled it. "He was a very uncommon man. Nice to meet you."

That **was **a smile, he knew it was! Maybe she did forgive him. Oh, how he wanted to just grab her hand and run for all he was worth down the corridors with her. But no, must keep up appearances. "Nice to meet you. Yes. Very nice. More than nice. Brilliant!"

Honestly, he was gushing at her, and she started getting weak in the knees at the sight of him like that! Now it was her turn to be totally caught off guard. She knew she should say something, anything, before someone got suspicious. Better try to get on with her investigation. "So, um, have you worked here long?"

Oh, that look in her eye. She was just ramping up. He knew that look so well. "No. Um ... it's only my second day."

So they'd practically arrived together. How fitting. "Oh, you're new, then. So, what do you think of the school? I mean, this new curriculum? So many children getting ill? Doesn't that strike you as odd?"

And there she goes. That incurable streak of curiosity, that insatiable need to know everything. Oh, how he loved that! "You don't sound like somebody just doing a profile." He knew he was grinning like mad, but he didn't even try to stop.

'This is ridiculous,' Sarah Jane thought. Fine setting for it though. She was definitely feeling like a school girl who had just developed a maddening crush on the new boy. One last remark and she'd remove herself from the conversation, before she made a complete fool of herself. She had made up her mind however, that as soon as possible, she was going to find a way to talk to **him** alone. "Well, no harm in a little investigation, while I'm here."

"No. Good for you. Good for you." He watched her move on to another teacher, feeling like the whole universe had suddenly righted itself. "Oh, good for you, Sarah Jane Smith."


	15. Chapter 15

The Doctor spent much of the afternoon in a Sarah Jane-induced fog. She had been part of what he considered his "golden years" -- the time in his life when he was the happiest.

Before it had all gone to hell.

He'd always known that letting her go was the cowardly thing; true, he couldn't have brought her to Gallifrey, but there was nothing stopping him from heading back there just as soon as the Master had been dispatched. The truth is, he'd been afraid; afraid of getting even closer to her, then watching her wither and die.

He'd told himself he was better off without her, and vice-versa. But he knew it wasn't true. Without him, she seemed to have been carrying on, living her life, and he was glad of it. Without her, on the other hand... the years hadn't been kind to him. All of his joking, posturing, running around the universe, he was only running away from the truth of his life, just as he'd always done.

He'd destroyed his own world, and everyone on it. No matter how much he wanted it, he was never again going to be that fun-loving adolescent she'd known.

* * *

Hours later, when Sarah Jane had finished her interviews and the school was closed, she managed to get back into the building. Now was when the real work of investigation would start. Since the moment she had seen him, it had been almost impossible to keep her mind on her work; part of her just kept thinking about the Doctor, and how he'd come back for her, finally. The other part kept telling her not to be a fool. This young man wasn't the Doctor, of course he wasn't. He looked like a man she'd dreamed about when she was a little girl, and she'd merged that man in her mind with the Doctor. The real one. The one who'd dropped her off in Aberdeen and never looked back.

She sighed and set about picking the lock to the Headmaster's office; surely there would be a clue there as to what was going on, and perhaps it would take her mind off this distraction. Then she heard a noise, like a screech and the flapping of wings, and decided to take cover. There was a storeroom in the gym; she'd made note of it during her tour, and heading past the rings and climbing ropes she ducked into it, carefully closing the door behind her.

She was completely unprepared for what she saw when she turned around.

The TARDIS stood there, gleaming in the dark, like a monolith signaling a monumental change.

'So it **was **him.' she thought. The magical pretty blue box of her childhood dreams was the TARDIS. Where was the Doctor then? She desperately needed to talk to him. She stepped back out of the storeroom, and suddenly, as if on cue, she saw him. Her heart leapt into her throat.

The Doctor had known Sarah would be back; it just wasn't like her to let an opportunity go. So when he heard heels clicking in the corridors, he was pretty sure it was her, and he dropped everything to follow the sound. "Hello, Sarah Jane," he said, uncertain of the reception he'd get.

All of her doubts disappeared. It was real. It was all real. "It's you. Oh, Doctor, oh my God, it's you, isn't it? You've regenerated." 'And you didn't come back for me,' she thought. Sarah Jane tried her best not to cry. Part of her just wanted to run to him and throw her arms around him. The other part wanted to blast him verbally with all the pain he had caused her. She loved him and he just dumped her and never came back. Twice.

"Yeah," he said. Inside, he was thrilled that even in a new incarnation, she'd recognized him. "Half a dozen times since we last met." Maybe things weren't so bad.

"You look ..." ... 'like you did when I was five,' she thought. But why hadn't he said anything about it? Maybe there was a reason. "... incredible."

"So do you." And she did, too. Thinking about her was one thing, but now that she was here ... That urge to hold her, to swing her around and never let go, it ate at him, but he understood that time had passed for her. It was the Aldarian Wildebeast in the room, and they hadn't yet dealt with it.

Damn him, he was so handsome. Why couldn't he have come back to her they way he promised to when she was still young? She'd been so sure, when she was a child. Had he been lying to her? "I got old," she said, somewhat bitterly.

He wasn't sure what to say to that. Would it sound pat to tell her that she was still beautiful to him? Or to deny that she was aging?

She saved him from answering. "What are you doing here?"

That was promising, he thought. She was interested. "Well ... UFO sighting, school gets record results, I couldn't resist. What about you?"

"Same." She was so nervous. She'd been waiting, literally for her entire life, for this moment, and he didn't seem to care, or even acknowledge it.

She was smiling. He loved that smile. He felt like he had back in the teacher's lounge; after all these years of missing her, she was right here with him, doing what they'd always done. He smiled a big goofy smile.

That grin, it was the last straw. Finally she couldn't bear it anymore. She couldn't hold the tears back. Crying, she started to let it all out. "I thought you died! I waited for you, you didn't come back, and I thought you must have died!" She could hear the sobbing in her voice, and she didn't care anymore if he saw her this way.

Her words were like a slap in the face. He'd wanted to keep his memory of her separate from the darkness within him, but now all he could think about was what he was doing while she waited for him. "I lived. Everyone else died."

There was an iciness in his tone that pulled her up short. This was not the fun-loving man who'd played airplane with her on his shoulders ... was it? "What do you mean?"

It was there, so tightly interwoven with his very being that no amount of joking could make it go away. "Everyone died, Sarah."

And then it dawned on her. She remembered when he'd sat so tenderly and told her about his parents, and realized he'd just simplified things for her five year old sensibilities. This was the tragedy that had haunted him. She thought about that talk, how they'd literally cried on each other's shoulders. It was all fresh in her mind, as though it had just happened.

She was sure he'd come to some sort of peace with himself that day. But she could see now that that pain was still so raw ... because that conversation hadn't happened for him yet. Inwardly, the realization was like losing him all over again. 'Say something, anything, Sarah Jane,' she told herself. "I can't believe it's you." Then a scream echoed through the hallways. Just like the old days. "OK, now I can!" He grabbed her hand and started running, and she didn't care what he did or didn't remember. They were together again, and for now, at least, it would have to do.

* * *

The next few hours went by in a blur. Sarah had to keep reminding herself that the Doctor hadn't been to her childhood yet, and kept up the facade of being angry at him for what his fourth self had done. It wasn't difficult; she really was still hurt over it. And having to put up with Rose's cattiness didn't make it easier.

But she knew something that Rose didn't know. In the end, Rose would lose him. Because he was coming back to Sarah. He already had.

And it was a good thing, too, because when things finally came to a head, she really needed that resolve.

"Think of it, Doctor," Finch had said. "With the paradigm solved, reality becomes clay in our hands. We can shape the universe and improve it."

The Doctor turned to face him. "Oh yeah? The whole of creation with the face of Mr. Finch? Call me old fashioned, no, I like things as they are."

"You act like such a radical, and yet all you want to do is preserve the old order. Think of the changes that could be made if this power was used for good."

"What, by someone like you?"

"No. Someone like you. The paradigm gives us power, but you could give us wisdom. Become a god at my side. Imagine what you could do. Think of the civilizations you could save. Perganon. Acinta. Your own people, Doctor, standing tall. The Time Lords ... reborn."

She could almost see the wheels turning in the Doctor's head, and it scared her. "Doctor, don't listen to him."

"And you could be with him throughout eternity," Finch said to her. "Young, fresh, never wither, never age, never die. Their lives are so fleeting. So many goodbyes. How lonely you must be, Doctor. Join us."

Sarah studied the Doctor's face as Finch continued to tempt him. He did look very lonely. But how did Finch know where his weakest spots were? 'Of course,' she thought, 'Time Lords are telepathic. Finch is reading the Doctor's mind.' Suddenly she realized the implications of that. The Doctor did still care about her. He still wanted to be with her, and Finch was using his feelings for her, and all of the pain the Doctor felt over the loss of Gallifrey and his people, as a carrot to lure him in. Up until this moment, she hadn't understood that pain and loss wasn't just something that defined her. It was something she and the Doctor shared.

The Doctor thought about what he was saying. To never lose Sarah Jane... to erase the last hundred and fifty years of loneliness and pain and guilt ... "I could save everyone," he realized.

"Yes," Finch oozed.

"I could stop the war," he said. 'Without becoming this monster.'

Sarah could see that he was thinking about what it could mean for him if he gave in to Finch. She'd spent half her life miserable, waiting for him to come back, so she understood how tempting that kind of control really was. But she couldn't allow him to give in. Not even if it meant that their lives could change forever. "**No**," Sarah Jane insisted. "The universe has to move forward. Pain, and loss, they define us as much as happiness or love. Whether it's a world or a relationship, everything has its time." She realized that their time together was both over and yet to begin. He needed to live out his time the way it was meant to be, and she needed to put her past behind her and move on with her life until he came back to her. "And everything ends."

The Doctor heard her through the haze of possibilities. Everything he'd done, everything that had happened, they made him what he was. There was no escaping it. But in her words, he heard something new: forgiveness. He knew he'd never escape what he was, but maybe, just maybe, he could live with it. He picked up a chair and smashed the monitor, breaking the spell. And maybe, just maybe, he'd get her back one day.

* * *

The Doctor stepped back out into the sun with Sarah. He'd managed to work up the nerve to invite her to come traveling with him again, and she'd said 'no'. Oh, she was nice about it, of course, but she made it very clear that she was moving on with her life. Without him. At least, he thought, she'd had the courtesy to tell him. And now it was time to say goodbye.

"It's daft, but I haven't ever thanked you for that time. And like I said, I wouldn't have missed it for the world." It had been so hard to turn him down when he asked her to join him again, but with Rose there, she knew she wouldn't fit in, and after all, it wasn't her time with him anymore, or yet. Still, she felt sorry for Rose. She had no idea of what was to come.

"Something to tell the grandkids?"

"Oh, I think it'll be somebody else's grandkids now." Oh, he looked so wistful, how she longed to comfort him.

'Idiot,' he thought. What an assumption to make! "Right. Yes. Sorry. I didn't get a chance to ask. You haven't ... there hasn't been anyone ... you know..."

She had to smile inwardly at that. He was hoping she hadn't found someone else. As if anyone could ever compare to him, no matter what regeneration he was in. Maybe she could put him a little bit at ease. "Well, there was this one guy. I traveled with him for a while, but he was a tough act to follow."

He knew he shouldn't be happy that she was lonely, but if he were really honest with himself, he had to admit that a little part of him was glad that she was still his.

"Goodbye, Doctor."

He'd been all prepared, but the word seemed so final. Like ... like he was never going to see her again. "Oh, it's not goodbye."

"You say it please, this time. Say it." She needed to hear it from him. Without it, she had no closure and she was determined to say goodbye to her past, and all the sorrow and regret that it had caused her.

The Doctor looked into her eyes, and he knew it was over. No matter how much he wanted to hold onto the dream of her, she needed him to let go. It was the least he could do. "Goodbye," he said, and realized that there was only so much letting go he could do. "**My** Sarah Jane," he said, and lifted her in a huge hug.

She closed her eyes as he hugged her. She tried not to cry for him and what she was leaving behind. So many memories, so much love. 'Goodbye, **My** Doctor, I'll always love you,' she thought as she enjoyed his arms around her and hugged him back as hard as she could.

He set her down and walked back into the TARDIS without a word. It was Castria all over again; if he looked at her he could never let her go. But someday, he vowed, someday he'd get her back.

She couldn't look back yet either. She felt that same emptiness in the pit of her stomach as she had the last time he'd left her. It all seemed so surreal when she heard the TARDIS groan and she knew it was gone. She turned once more as she had back then, knowing that there would be nothing there. To her surprise K-9 was standing there waiting for her.

"K-9! " She cried out, joy in her voice.

"Mistress."

"But you were blown up!" 'Oh that wonderful man,' she thought. 'He knew how heartbroken I was over losing the one gift he ever gave me. Well, at least the only one I remembered before now.' She thought about the vase in her bedroom with the Metebilis Angel in it.

"The master rebuilt me. My systems are much improved, with new omniflexible hyperlink capabilities."

It was then she realized what the Doctor had done for her. "He replaced you with a brand new model."

"Affirmative."

"Yeah. He does that. Come on you, home. We've got work to do." For the first time since he had left her, she was truly content. She could go on with her life now, knowing that he was coming back to her, and that one day soon, they would both be together and happy again.

"Affirmative."

* * *

**Ealing, 2010**

The Doctor smiled as he finally caught the last little furry animal and chucked it back in it's box with the others, then picked up Sarah's doll and thought bubbles and put them both away neatly on Sarah's dresser. He double checked to make sure that he had everything, confirmed the coordinates one more time and stepped out of the TARDIS onto Bannerman Road. Taking a deep breath, he crossed the road and jogged up to the door of number 13, ringing the bell before he could give it any more thought.

Inside, Sarah Jane Smith was typing away at her latest book. She took a sip of tea and smiled, as she had just gotten to the part she liked best. 'The Professor smiled at his young companion and put his arm around her. "What would I ever do without you my dear," he said. "For starters, you'd never be able to find anything, that's what," Nicola laughed as she smiled back at him. He moved his face closer to hers and' --

"Damn," said Sarah Jane. "Bloody doorbell! I swear, tomorrow I'm having that thing taken out," she grumbled to herself as she went to answer it. "If that's a salesman, he'll rue waking up today." She got downstairs and headed towards the door, ready to rip someone's head off. She flung the door open and her mouth opened wide with surprise. "Doctor," was all she managed to get out.

The Doctor stood there, looking hopeful and contrite, holding out his right pinky. On the tip of it was a tiny gold ring. "I pinky swore I'd come back," he said.

Sarah Jane reached out and touched the ring tenderly. "All those years," she said in a hushed tone. "You kept it after all these years."

"Well... technically speaking, you just gave it to me."

"What? I don't understand. For me it's been over fifty years," she said.

"Magic, remember?" he smiled.

She gave her shoulders a little shrug and grinned at him. "Magic, of course. You have always been magic to me."

He reached out and tenderly enfolded her in his arms. "You are my magic. And you always will be."


End file.
